To Pinkyz! =)

Happy Blessed Birthday DEARIE! =)

HUGS=)

hmmm? but hmmmm!

Has the writers of Hollywood meet a dead end? Have they lost their creative juices? Is it so tough to come up with scripts to last long enough to make a movie?

all these questions but i still enjoy the scripts where they combine several short stories to make it into a movie.
There was the much talked about Love Actually – my all time favourite.

Love Actually

Watched another of the same kind recently.

New York I Love You

Thanks to roomie, i’ve just found out of another, scheduled to be released on the 12th of February in Singapore. roars.. the day when i go home. Maybe i can catch it when i’m back then. The thing now is, will it be released at the same time?

Valentine's day movie

and as usual, it involves a whole cast of Hollywood’s A listers. The preview seemed interesting. Can’t wait! =)

Cravings

ok so this is the best thing i’ve had during the short stint in Japan late last year and out of the blues, it came back to haunt me and so i went on to search for this photo, which i am very glad now to have insisted on taking.
Maybe it does make some sense to take all the pictures you want now. You will never know, I may just find it useful for reminiscence in time to come.

the wonderful ramen and its soup base =)

I’m rather glad for having found back my buddy “craving”. In a way, cravings help in allowing myself to have something to look forward to. I think it’s nice to have something to look forward to each week, helps tremendously to tide you through the work week. =)

Time check 1232am and I am still in NUS, with Queen. finished cirrhosis, hepatic encephalopathy, biliary cirrhosis, jaundice, alcoholic cirrhosis, hepatitis. so much more to go. but this session is good, thanks to queen. I should do this more often, be a mugger limyeelian, board exams and viva are just around the corner!

I’m already looking forward to CNY break. been sleeping alot these days – sleep and sleep but still feel tired and i feel like and old woman, with my aching shoulders and back. i crack my back so often these days that i worry i will break it one day. haha =) ok kidding.. just kidding

Blessed Sunday =)

Pastor started today’s sermon by comparing the bible as a manufacturer’s (God’s) handbook of His creation (ME!).
I don’t read the manual ALL THE TIME – be it the macbook, dslr or even a simple device like a warmer, i would somehow miss the manual or instructions.
We humans, have been created by His Almighty to be able to do many things, we have buttons and functions, literally, which allows us to perform tasks, sometimes, beyond our imagination can lead us to. However, like me, we don’t read the manual, which teaches us how to fully utilise our capability, to allow it to guide us, to lead us to perform better.

***
As mentioned in the worship song, through it all, which was sung today, I am going through a season – a rather difficult one i should say. Plus the deteriorating health ( which i curse in Jesus name), let’s just say that it hasn’t been easy for me. The turmoil of emotions while keeping it cool on the outside has been such a torture to the spirit within me and somehow amidst all these, the devil has succeeded in pulling me into the realm of feelings from the faith realm.

You are forever in my life,
You see me through the season

As i sang along to the lyrics, a voice inside me said this ” Hon, I will see you through. I love you”
And i thought to myself, that’s it, even if i don’t get anything more out of today’s sermon, i will walk out happified =) Just knowing that He has never left me and that He cares enough to remind me over and over and over again.
But God is good, Awesome i should say.
He never did just want to settle by giving me something good, His gifts are always so much more than just good. He provides super abundantly, more than enough. As predicted, the sermon today was ultra awesome, i could literally feel rejuvenated and recharged there and then! ( minus the effect of yakun coffee of course)
I found out later after service that even wyee thought so too and wanted to buy and keep the sermon cd.

Pastor provided so many answers to the many queries i have lately, accumulated in my heart.
I know that I am saved, I am loved, I am His beloved, I am in Christ, I am sitted next to Him on the throne, I am His princess, I am a new creation but i often ponder how can I having known all the above, a known fact, a divine reality, can often be low in spirits; don’t feel princess-ly, let depression take over me, worries, doubts and anger. Pastor says when this happens, I have been led by the devil, tempted by it to the realm of feelings, where it can work his evil deeds. The devil can never work in the realm of faith. Feelings are just feelings, they are not real. When feelings overcome you, we overcome by looking to God’s words, the bible which are facts, realities. Look to Jesus, the truth, the light, and the way.
To proceed from the foundation of faith. We are children of the Father of most high, the king; we do not go by the conventional way, by the 5 senses. Instead, we go by our sixth sense – Faith. It’s true that faith can’t be seen or heard, it is not something concrete. But it is also true that just because we don’t see it, doesn’t mean that it is not true. How apt it is as i prepare myself for the J** interview. the major concern holding me back is that there is nothing concrete, nothing physically which can assure me of my future. but not having the building up in time doesn’t mean that it is not going to be good, God’s blessings. We are humans, creatures by sight, but at the same time, we are just not any humans, we are saved; a new creation and by that, we believe with faith. We stand true and believe the one who gave us His words, the one whose faith on us never falters.

I want to be secure in Him. I do not wish to be easily shaken by the events or situations of the world, nor do i want to be shaken by the words from people of the world. I want to be secure. Secure to know that i do not have to perform to satisfy anyone, i do not have to perform to become. I am already a princess, His beloved, in Christ. I have already become and therefore there’s no need for me to perform to become. The exaltations of the christian life will come later on effortlessly after I am secure, knowing the divine reality and fact that i am sitted right next to the Father on His throne. This identity once given, can never be taken away, nor can it be challenged by any tom, dick or harry. I give up trying to justify, to please, to perform. The identity has already been given, I’ve already become. All left to do now is to just know and believe my identity and position in Christ, rest and be sitted next to Him. by knowing this truth, the desire to serve, the want to be better, the want to execute task would be altogether different. For now, we do it for a whole different sets of reasons.

I was smiling silly to myself. It has been some time since i felt this rejuvenated and recharged. I felt as if my body has been re-borned. All it takes for these to happen is to have the revelation of His words. How awesome is that, you tell me.
Overheard the couple telling each other to remind each other of their identity in Christ. How blessed.
A sense of envy led me to sharing with wyee, seeking her opinion on being with someone who has the relationship with Christ as well. She has her fair share of problems. ” It’s not easy” she told me, which i obviously am aware of. We laughed it off, ” Easier to find someone from church” Not only easier i think, it’s better as well – personal thoughts. shall stop here.

***
I’m not someone easily beaten down just by a hurdle. For the fact that i have Jesus in my life. Devil, you might just need to try FOREVER. hah!

Ramen Day

Lunch was xiaolongbao and lamian (ramen).
Dinner was Ajisen Volcano Ramen
Supper was a taste of Mel’s and Parry’s Ramen from Ramen Bar @ Holland V

Another foresight to visiting Ramen Bar very frequently in the near future. The ramen was definitely more authentic than the ones in Ajisen and the half boiled egg was ultra yummy. The soup base, as synyin would call it, “you jia de gan jue”. ahhh too full to eat more hence i ended up just drinking the soup, which was sufficent to satisfy the taste buds.

It was a fruitful day, definitely not because i studied the day away. i think i’d have to follow mel and recite this over and over again
There is therefore now no condemnation (x50zillion times)
It’s terrible to have that lugging feeling and thought behind the mind, knowing that there’s so much to study and yet, i still procrastinate. It doesn’t help when the week schedule is always fully packed and for the fact that i can’t study at home. someone save me and be my study buddy!

alrights, why the fruitful day, hmmm more of a lazy saturday. I love just being able ( not exactly accurate to use the word ” able” ) to laze around and do nothing. wake up and check random stuffs and power nap for 5 mins whenever you feel like it, watch random videos, explore shopping deals online, eat junk, talk randoms.
I haven’t had that kind of luxury in a long while. there was the holiday but it was all about rushing around, not a single opportunity of taking a step back to smell the roses.
Lunch was yummy, xiaolongbaos can never go wrong. Napped thereafter, and ended up oversleeping and meeting dear hyeli later than the agreed time. gosh, i was that tired.

I finally told hyeli. ok technically, i didn’t tell her cos when i opened my mouth to tell her that i have something to tell her, the look on her face gave her away. I knew immediately that one of the girls must have blurted out the story. oh wells, saves me the trouble then since i have no idea how was i going to do it anyway.
Shared some of the down moments with her and i felt so relieved to have finally spoken to at least one out of the 12 of us face to face. They are the people who would best understand what i have been going through, i figured. It was good to let it out =)

Time check 112am and my hair is still wet. roarrrr! work tomorrow and hopefully time to sit down to work before service at 5pm. The weekend is almost gone, and as usual, i have no idea where has it gone to. I want a getaway, but i know at the same time, i don’t deserve it, at least for now.
ah wells, shall take pleasure in the little happiness that i have for now. Watched PS I love you for the5th, 6th time? and my, did i enjoy it through and through =) and yes, this is one of the little happiness i desire.

alrights folks. off to bed regardless of whether the hair is wet or dry. i can no longer keep my eyes open.
oh oh! with the help of Ane-chan, i figured that i’m not exactly the best storyteller around. so sad! must have bored everyone whenever i talk to much =S

=)